Jokes About Oprah, The Schwarzeneggers, The Jersey Shore and More [AUDIO]

Here we are at Thursday already. I know there have been a few days where I missed getting the morning monologue up but it has been a very busy week. I'm not sure anyone really noticed though, not good. The nice thing is , the week is  almost over and most of us are going to enjoy a nice three day weekend. So today kind of felt like a Friday, as tomorrow, I think we will already be in weekend mode. It was also a good morning because I think we got the morning off to a good start with today's morning monologue on the "Sean and Richie Show". Here is what we talked about today.

• Oprah ended her 25 years in tears. (who didn't cry??)

• Arnold and Maria are selling their home in Brentwood. (is it next to O.J's?)

• Maria Shriver hired a private investigator to check on Arnold Schwarzenegger. (just one?)

• Top executives from Google, Facebook and Microsoft held a summit in Paris. (why not just do it online?)

• Ronnie and "The Situation" got into a fist fight while shooting "Jersey Shore". (odd, they seem like such good negotiators.)

• The White House created a new position, "Director of Progressive Media & Online response." (This must be the budget cutbacks we keep hearing about.)

• How many drivers think that they are "unsafe"? (clearly, it's not you.)

There it is, your morning news in joke form. If you missed it your in luck I just so happen to have it for you right here. Enjoy.

Bonus points for anyone who can tell me what is different in this post compared to the monologue posts in the past. God Bless.