Haters Gon’ Hate: Brian’s Stunning Crop Top Photo Explained
If you think that my inner 10-year-old isn't licking his chops over #nationaldoughnut day, you would be greatly mistaken friends. Everything about this photo tells a story about my childhood that I refuse to hide from, and quite frankly, how could I hide? The combination sleeveless crop top tee and hiked-up cotton shorts doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. But 10-year-old Brian clearly didn't give a sh*t about the haters. He wore what he wanted, showed as much belly as he wanted, and posed in front of the Chateau Bleu in North Wildwood like the Caldor influencer he was.
How can you look at this picture and not have a million questions? There are literally a thousand things that are worth pointing out and so I will do just that, without fear. Because 10-year-old Brian taught me that unlike this fence, nothing can hold me back.
- The outfit: Without a doubt a boardwalk purchase and I do believe it came as a 'set'. There's no other way to explain the perfectly matched shade of electric blue. This would be an $8.99 purchase in the Summer of '83. If purchased in '84, it would cost about $3. My guess it was last summer's leftover.
- The belly shirt/crop top: That was the style in the early 80's and 10-year-old Brian was clearly up on of all the latest trends. And what better way to stylize your wardrobe than clothes shopping on a South Jersey boardwalk. Haters will say those abs are photoshopped and I'll tell em that's impossible. Photoshop wasn't even invented back then.
- The pose: This was well before social media but that didn't mean we didn't take photos. We had plastic covered albums with flip pages that we filled once the photos were developed two weeks later at a Foto-Mart. Let it be known that a shhhmexxy pose like this was a one-shot deal back then. There were no reshoots or retakes. The disposable camera had a certain number of pictures you could take, so you either nailed it (like I did) or you missed your chance at glory. I shot my shot here so you can't be mad.
- The licking of the lips: I mean, do you really have to ask? Everything about this pose screams, "ladies, please wait your turn!" The fence can't tame this tiger. This subtle gesture was my way of letting everyone know that no one will be denied. Or I just ate an Entenmann's donut and was licking the white powder off my lips.
So there you have it. The real story behind the viral photo of 10-year-old me that has captivated the Capital Region and has South Jersey beach-goers wondering when I'm making my return visit.
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