Careful Capital Region, Your Chickens Could Kill You

All of a sudden, chickens are no longer the cocks of the walk.

*Holds for applause*

In an investigative notice posted by the CDC, a story that was curated by The Blaze, the Centers for Disease Control published statistics linking to a recent salmonella outbreak. The outbreak in question has been caused by "backyard poultry", which seems far less fun than the Backyard Baseball game I played as a kid. The Blaze broke the news with the following headline...

"Stop kissing, cuddling poultry before you get salmonella"

...which I must say, is magnificent advice for any chicken-loving guy or gal. That said, here are a few things the CDC tells us you can to avoid getting the bird flu.

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1. Be Safe Around Backyard Flocks

So it turns out, The Blaze's headline was EXACTLY WHAT THE CDC SAID.

Be safe around backyard flocks. Don’t kiss or snuggle backyard poultry, and don’t eat or drink around them.

This is standing ovation-worthy from the CDC. I can't top that. It's perfect.

2. Supervise Kids Around Flocks

This is an underrated piece of advice. A chicken, or backyard poultry, will see a child as an equal, someone that it can dominate. You have to make sure you keep your kids away from one-on-one confrontations with chickens, or you'll end up with someone being pecked to death.

3. Handle Eggs Safely

I thought that one was obvious. Don't mess with someone's eggs.

According to the map of cases around the United States, New York currently has two people sick with salmonella as a result of snuggling their chickens. While this isn't as bad as the chicken-kissers down in North Carolina (13 cases), this is still a very serious issue clearly.

Please be careful moving forward, because you could join a very exclusive group of idiots.