Parents Guide To Stealing Your Kids Halloween Candy
Thursday marks another year parents will be taking kids trick or treating on Halloween. I'm hoping it's as fun (and bountiful) for you, as it is for them. Many parents will be racing home from work to take the kiddos out, which is a task in and of itself. But the hard work started weeks, maybe even months ago. When the trick-or-treating is all over, you should be able to reward yourself free of any guilt. Sure you may have to do a few more minutes on the treadmill to work off that mini Snickers, but the reality is, you've earned it! Here's a list of reasons why you shouldn't feel guilty hijacking some (or a lot) of your kids candy. If any of these things happened to you, put a mental check mark next to it, and then indulge in the candy you've earned!
- If you actually made a costume for you kid (that includes any cutting, sowing, glueing, spray-painting, or stitching) you deserve a Butterfinger.
- If you had a costume all set for your kid two weeks ago, but on Monday little Johnny or little Hannah threw a tantrum and decided they wanted to be something completely different you deserve a mini Snickers.
- If you didn't cave to the outfit change and dealt with the crying fit, your reward is a full-sized candy bar of your choice.
- If you waited till the last minute and walked around Halloween Hall with your kid for 2 hours while they hated every last minute option available, you deserve one Peppermint Patty. Not the best candy in the world, and that's because you procrastinated.
- If your kid wanted to wear the costume a week before Halloween and got grape jelly and apple juice all over it (despite the repeated warnings to NOT get it dirty) help yourself to a Twix.
- If your kid wore the costume before Halloween, and you found it rolled in a ball behind the couch, you get to steal a handful of Toostie Rolls.
- If your kids costume comes with a mask, and they take it off 3 minutes into trick-or-treating telling you how 'it's hottttttt and sweaty' under there, you've earned yourself a bag of Skittles.
- If you went out to find green spray paint for a little boys Hulk costume at place (let's say Hobby Lobby) that already has Christmas decorations out and your 4-year-old son (let's just call him Brody) throws an absolute shit-fit tantrum because he wanted a snowman stuffed toy, congrats! Thanks to his incessant shrieking (and me -err- you not caving in) help yourself to as many Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (the Holy Grail of candy) as your little heart desires.
You see parents, it's not technically 'stealing'. These are rewards- and they've been earned!