State officials have confirmed fecal matter is not flowing into Saratoga Lake.

Ya know, I just could not help myself with this one. But, the Times Union's description of the "alleged flotilla of feces" in Saratoga Lake was spot on, and well, the 5-year-old boy in me got a good chuckle out of it. But let me move on to point number two.

The Times Union says the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC) investigated reports of what some folks thought were some BM's floating in Kayaderosas Creek, which feeds Saratoga Lake, and determined it was just "natural decaying organic matter."

So, the alleged doo-doo was really not a big to do. Which is good news. The lakes are one of the few spots we can actually social distance right now, and excrement would really make the whole lake experience less than excellent.

In closing, I tried my hardest. But when it comes to fecal matters, there is no topping "flotilla of feces."  "Fleet of feces" or "team of turds" just don't have the same ring to 'em. Here's to clean swimming in all of our area lakes this summer!

Enter your number to get our free mobile app