Coronavirus Poll: What’s Worse Public Cough or Public Sneeze

A friend of mine was out to dinner with his fiancee in Albany on Thursday night and out of nowhere they faced an interesting coronavirus-related dilemma.  Neither one of the soon-be-married couple has any of the flu-like symptoms related the pandemic, but they did face a moment where their involuntary actions concerned some people sitting near them in the restaurant.  Here's what happened:

My friend coughs after taking a bite of something with a spicy red sauce in it that hit his throat a little funny.   She looks around waiting for other people to stare and a few people do.  Now, she's uneasy.   Worried that those seated near them and those serving them may feel like her man needs to be quarantined, she tells him to basically  pipe down.  Defending his honor or health, he downplays the situation arguing that it's all in her head and that nobody noticed.  She rolls her eyes.

A few moments later, she sneezes.  Now, he's looking around to see who's staring at her.  She downplays the sneeze to which he just shrugs knowing that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. This could not have played out any better for the guy here and he builds his argument for why 'the public cough' is way less threatening than the 'the public sneeze'.

And the battle rages on. Would you rather be seated next to someone who coughs on occasion, or sneezes?  You can make a compelling argument for why either one is better or worse.  Both can be sure signs of a cold, but a cough or sneeze can also be triggered by things that have zero to do with actually being sick.

I sneeze like a mofo around cats.  I cough like a maniac when I swallow water 'down the wrong pipe' which I know is medically inaccurate but you get the point.

I never did find out who 'won' the argument at the dinner table from my soon-to-be married friends of "what looks worse in public in March of 2020: the cough or sneeze?"

I would imagine he probably thought he made a compelling case that her sneeze was worse than his cough but that's because no matter what, you can't quarantine  stubborn.