I thought I would help you based on my consistent "track record."  I'm here for you, people.

When you go to Saratoga this track season, here are my top-5 recommendations to help you win friends (money) and influence people.

1. Wear a festive hat (even if you're a guy):  I have found this to be an amazing good luck charm. Rub the hat while you intently stare at your horse during the race. Unfortunately, people might stare at YOU more, but the heck with them. It's good karma.


2.  Buy one of those "best bets" newspapers that they hawk at the gate: take a pen with you and start feverishly marking it up on one of those benches.  It's not going to help you win anything, but you will impress the hell out of the other attendees. It's all about first impressions.

3. Throw the words "Mary Lou Whitney" out every 10 or 15 words in conversation, as if you know her personally. Great conversation starter.

photo by Richie


4   Take the first letter of your last name: add the second letter of your first name.  Now what is your grandmother's maiden name? What's your favorite color? Good. You're correct.

5.  #4 means absolutely nothing. I just had to come up with 5 things. The real #5 is simple: there's no formula for winning. You might as well use #4. You have just as good of a chance. Have fun there this season, drink responsibly (and bet irresponsibly - the track will love you for it!)

We will be broadcasting live there very soon.  Stay tuned to 'GNA for details!