
I Miss Seeing My Ol’ Man (Not Only His Nose)
I miss the days when I could see my old man, and not just his nose. In fairness, it's because he literally has zero clue how anything works. I mean I can see him, but at a distance and I haven't hung out with the big guy in a while. My dad and I do a decent amount of FaceTime but I end up talking to his shnoz the entire time. I posted this picture to my Instagram page and people seemed to get a kick out of it. If anybody 'nose' my dad, you know that I can't make this stuff up. But even if you don't, there's a good chance you've either been Zooming or FaceTiming recently with someone just like him.
Me: Dad...move the phone so I'm not staring at your nose.
Dad: Ok, how's that Brian. Is that better?
Me: No Dad, now it's just your bushy eyebrows.
Dad: Hey, how come I can see you?
Me: Dad, I've been here the whole time on the screen. We're FaceTiming.
Dad: I know.
Me: I don't think you do, Dad.
Dad: (shouting to my mom) Diane, Brian says that he can only see my nose.
Mom: (in the background) You're Jewish Harry. It's a large nose....
Dad: Brian, mom can't fix it!
Me: Nevermind...ok love you guys talk to you later.
Dad: Love you too. Ok...bye.
In typical Papa Codes form, he proceeds to NOT be able to hang up the phone so I hear a conversation with him and my mom talking about how I said something about his nose. Fearing that the conversation might turn on me (how I'm a pain in the ass or something) I proactively 'end' the phone call.
I guess you can say I nose when to make an exit...

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