Award Show Limitations

Another Academy Award show has come and gone. Congratulations to all of the winners, but please do not thank me.

I don't know about you, but when I watch these things after about five winners, I'm ready to pull out whatever hair I have left. I understand that people need to be thanked, but seriously, it seems that every person that was ever involved in the performer's life gets a "thank you". Tons of people that no one has ever heard of. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "Id like to thank my mother and father, and the academy", I could pay my utility bills for about the next three years. (It kind of bothers me that they don't thank God as much anymore.)

Here's an idea: limit the number of people to be thanked. Let's say six or maybe seven people. We all know a thank you to mom and dad is nice, but if you do thank them, that will only allow five more people. These would be the most important people to be thanked, without worrying that someone would be missed. For the rest, send them a thank you card. Imagine: No more hearing the music start before the person's done talking, indicating that you've talked too much already. This would probably cut the time of the show down by about an hour, giving more time to show something another program.

I used to bowl on several leagues, and at the end of the season, awards are handed out. I never heard anyone stand there and give a list of thank yous. When they finished with the awards, you would go get something else to eat or drink. Now that's the way to give out awards.