5 Reasons I Can’t Get Into The Winter Olympics

I feel kind of guilty for not watching a single minute of the Olympics, but not awful enough to actually put it on. Let it be known that I'm rooting like heck for Team USA and I'm super proud that the those gloves from Gloversville.  But I still don't feel compelled to watch. Surely I can't be the only one who feels like this. I want to love them, but here are reasons I just can't get into the 2018 Winter Games.

1. I don't recognize the athletes.  None of 'em.  Even the athletes whose names I may recognize, I wouldn't know them If I fell down a hill and landed in their bobsled.
2. I'm unable to do any kind of fantasy gaming on the Olympics. If Draftkings or Fanduel did fantasy curling or fantasy downhill skiing, I wouldn't understand what was being scored but I'd sure as heck build some rosters and I know I would feel compelled to watch.
3. I can't watch sports that aren't LIVE.  If someone, somewhere knows the outcome hours before I do, it takes all of the joy out of it. NBC loves to get you hooked with story lines and pre-produced packages as a way of introducing you to the athletes and I totally get that. But I can't watch sports on TV knowing that an event took place hours ago or the previous day.
4. I never competed in any of these events.  I don't ski, play hockey, bobsled, luge, skate, snowboard, or curl (although curling looks fun). As a result, while it's not hard for me appreciate the greatness at which these athlete's perform, it's hard for me to get excited about something I never did as a kid.  I played baseball, basketball, football, and golf all of my life and I fell in love with playing those games long before I ever started watching them on TV. The nuances of 'ice dancing' never interested me and therefore I'm not all that interested watching it now.
5. I'm not even sure that some of the events are sports.  Curling looks fun, but is it really a sport? It appears to be more of a skill to me. My eyeballs don't lie to me.  If I'm watching an event (curling) while eating a sandwich, drinking a beer, and checking twitter on my phone I shouldn't be able to do that event!  End of story, but go USA!