What makes millions of dollars a year, but can't pay for a cab? Miguel Cabrera!

Cabrera is an all star slugger for the Detroit Tigers and can't even wait for the regular season to screw up. This is truly sad.

As I said earlier Cabrera makes millions of dollars, and gets busted for a DUI in Florida at Spring training. I hope A-Rod doesn't carpool with this guy.

Not only does he get a DUI, but there was nobody in the car with him and he though there was. He was not just drunk, he was hammered!

While the cops are talking to him, he actually reaches into his vehicle and grabs a bottle of James Buchanan Scotch whiskey and takes a swig of it in front of the cops.

I take it back, he wasn't hammered. He was annihilated. Nobody with any knowledge of scotch would drink James Buchanan.

Fox Sports has the whole crazy, drunk, car smoking story.

At least David Cassidy will have a cellmate.