If you watched the Oscars last night you saw them handing out the statues for the various awards. The statues were actually more lively than Oscar co-host James Franco.

The guy was stiffer than a cardboard cut of the Geico lizard. My neighbor has a hideous plastic pink flamingo on their lawn in the Summer with more personality.

After watching James Franco for the first hour and a half it was no wonder the place erupted in a standing ovation when former Oscar host Billy Crystal made an appearance.

I now know why they killed his character Harry Osbourne off in the Spider Man movies, because it was putting the audience to sleep.

The only thing more boring than James Greco was the horrible song from his movie "127 Hours" which somehow won the "Song of the year Oscar".

I felt sorry for poor Anne Hathaway because she had to carry the whole show by herself. I bet her shoulders hurt this morning.

Next year here are a few suggestions for male co-host of the Oscars that will have more life than James Franco.

1. Ben Stein

2. Steven Wright

3. Joe Biden

Yes, he is that stiff.

I don't know why he is so "vanilla" in his candor, but he needs a PR coach to show him how to act like he actually wants to be somewhere.

Check out James Franco's wikipedia bio. Maybe the answer is in there. If you find something that can explain his lifeless personality let me know.

Wait, better yet let him know. His career may depend on it.