So my father-in-law is now a proud permanent New York resident again -  We helped him move from New Jersey into a really nice independent living facility in Clifton Park called Coburg Village. This did come with a slight catch, however.He doesn't ask for much, but what he really requires , especially as a midnite snack,  is the ever popular Cheese Whiz.  Not the spray, but the jar variety.  "No problem, Dad", I said confidently.  If that's what makes ya happy, we can find that for you
Not so easy!  Off we went to one of the chain stores in Clifton Park that has everything plus a grocery section (I'll spare you the name).  I figured they'd have it.  The guy looked it up on his hand held inventory doohickey, then  bewilderingly asking me how to spell it!   I wasn't sure if "Whiz" is what stumped him or Cheez (with a Z!), but after figuring it out, he came back with a very quick retort - "We don't have it here, it's in our Saratoga store"
Say WHAT? Forget it.  40 miles round trip for Cheeze Whiz?
Ok, the local ,well known chain grocery store in the area HAS to carry it. Again, not a slam dunk.   A customer service person told me it would be in the dairy aisle.  We looked, then after asking again, got  THIS response- "We discontinued it--noone's buying it anymore".  Well, noone by the guy to my left, that is.
 Dorrie started to get impatient with us both.  "Why don't you just get Velveeta?"  No - not good enough.  Now I'm on a mission.
It became somewhat of a joke between us. Do we have to go back to New Jersey to stock up?  How hard could it be.   I next made a stop to one of the chain drug stores.  Nope. Stewarts. No, but I wasn't expecting a small place like that to have it.
OK - last stop on the frustrating journey - again, in Clifton Park  Major Grocery Store.  Huuuuuuge!   This has to be the mother lode.   We walk over to an elderly employee working in the soda aisle.  " Please ma'am, do you have it?     She answered confidently - "Oh sure we do- you'll find it in the cracker aisle"
So off we go, smiling and feeling a sense of closure, until out of absolutely nowhere we hear thes obnoxious, ear piercing series of high pitched siren like tones nearly perforating our eardrums. LITERALLY  They were blasting these sounds at 5 second intervals  We couldn't even have a conversation at all, no less about liquid cheez like product.   It was the damn fire alarm!
"Everyone must evacuate the premises immediately", commanded the booming voice over the loudspeaker.  Employees literally started running out, and we followed closely behind, laughing as we went!
 As we stood in the parking lot with all the workers and confused shoppers,  there came the usual cadre of  emergency vehicles, police, fire trucks - the whole 9.
We both looked at each other and just chucked loudly. " No Cheeze Whiz for you!".
I still don't have any to give him as of this writing, but we put out the call on the air this morning, and several listeners told me without a doubt that the Dollar Store and Sam's Club might be my best bet.
I'll let you know if that's the case.  What a great welcome back to New York!
Bottom line ….If you happen to find any in your travels, can you save me a bottle?  Much appreciated!