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The ‘Dumbest Things Patients Have Said To Their Doctors’

So I found this hysterical thread on Reddit asking Doctors to talk about something they had to explain to a patient that they thought was common knowledge. now trust me I am seldom surprised at just how dumb some members of the general public can be, but when you see these things written out, it’s ind of scary.

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Of course you can click on the thread and read all of the comments for yourself and many of them are good but I thought I’d share with you a few of my favorites:

1. “A woman came in for a well baby check with her 6 month old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk at which point she interrupts him and says “oh that isn’t chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!”

2. ”I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter “because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use.” I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use. She explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again..”

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3. ”A hospital is open 24 hours a day 7 days a week for medical emergencies. So, the next time you have a stroke on a Friday, come in on Friday and don’t wait for the weekend to pass!”

4. ”Podiatrist buddy told me this one. Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back. He then has to explain she’s not a salamander. Things get a bit more serious.”

5.

“Pharmacist here. I have a couple of good ones off of the top of my head. The first one: Patient comes in, she’s upset – she’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.

The other story is a related one: same scenario except patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could have prevented it. The problem this time? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.

These are all true. Sometimes the things you see in Pharmacy make you fearful for the future of the human race, and I’m not exaggerating.”

 

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