Why I'm Shelving The Elf This Xmas Season

Elf on a Shelf has become a big thing with my 3.5 year old son Brody, but the whimsical wiretapped watchman won't be magically making an appearance in my house. Call me Scrooge, but I have my reasons.

Brody's mom and I co-parent the little man to the absolute best of our ability, but naturally things that happen in my house that are different than things that happen in his house with him mom. One of those things is good ol' Elf on A Shelf. While his mother effectively uses their Elf, Bernie, as a as a source of daily entertainment and an extra set of eyes for Santa, I've opted to NOT have an Elf in my house this holiday season. Here are my reasons for shelving the elf. I'm not sure that any one reason is enough to kill the spirit, but collectively, they all add up to protesting the pint sized pixie.

Brody is 3.5 and in his world, the magic of Santa is in full force. Adding the extra layer of Santa's Secret Service seems like overkill to me. Plus, it kinda feels a little creepy to me. He's.Watching.Your. Every.Move. There are things I don't want anyone to see, let alone an innocent elf.
Call me a Grinch, but the painstaking process of Pinteresting new and creative Elf ideas for Brody to wake up to gives me more anxiety than Santa on a foggy night without Rudolph.
Some families I know utilize the whimsical wiretapped watchman YEAR ROUND and the mere thought of that terrifies me. If I have to resort to 'elfing' in July to get my little man to behave, I'm the one that should be held accountable. Dangle me from the fireplace with tinsel, and stuff my stocking with a peppermint stick.

I'd deserve it.