If you have not seen this story yet, you may want to take a look at the video I am including from Fox 13 in Utah. The basics of the story are that a gang banger  named Jason Valdez had a 16 hour standoff with police in Ogden, Utah. He was in a hotel room with a female hostage and apparently was updating his Facebook throughout the standoff. Take a look at the video, then we will get to the fun part.

He posted things like, "I'm currently in a stand off .. kinda ugly but ready for whatever, I love you guys and if I don't make it out of here alive I'm in a better place and u were all great friends.."

He even went so far as to post a picture of him and the hostage adding, "Got a cute "hostage"huh?"

So, I got to wondering what kind of "posts" would come out of a situation like this.  And of course my mind doesn't always work like everyone else's so I have to find a more comical angle. So I came up with the top 5 facebook post by Jason Valdez the day of the standoff. Keep in mind these are not in any way the actual post by Jason, they are just the ones I think I would have liked to see.

5. "To the cops outside, I will come out peacefully just as soon as I beat my high score on Bejeweled Blitz!"

4. "Jason Valdez is now friends with "Ogden City Police" and 6 other people."

3. "To my friends, if I ever get out of here and escape, I will have to go where go somewhere where no one will ever find me, "Myspace"."

2. My demands are simple, I want one million dollars, use of a helicopter and 4 new Farmville crops! You have three hours."

...and the number 1 post by Jason Valdez the day of the hostage standoff..

"Work, Gym, Take Hostage, Home."

Now if you have some funny ones to add I'd love to see them just post them in the comment section below. Thank You and God Bless.