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Top 5 Places I WON’T Be On Black Friday [LIST]

From Flickr User Croixboy

Steely Dan the classic rock group did a a song called “Black Friday” years ago. I was listening to it the other day and just had to say that I am not a Black Friday guy.So while many of you will force yourself into the retail sausage grinder that is “Black Friday” I just thought if you were looking for me that I would let you know where you won’t ever see me on Black Friday.

5. Crossgates Mall

C’mon! Really? This is cruel andunusual punishment for any red blooded American male on Black Friday. I would rather shop for curtains with my girlfriend than be subject to the running of the bulls on Washington Avenue Extension.

4. Any Walmart In America

No way Jose! You can take your HD TV specials and Star Wars Lego sets and put them where the sun don’t shine in a “galaxy far, far away”.

3. Any Target Store In America

The only Target I will hit on Black Friday is one of a 10 point buck with my 30/30 in the backwoods. There is no “Rock and Roll Elmo” in America worth me having a stroke over.

2. Any Toys R’ Us in America

Geoffrey the Giraffe is cool, but he’ll be there on December 22nd too and I like my chances much better on that day. There’s not a sales flyer in this world that could make me endure this place on Black Friday.

1. On any Road in The Albany Area Between 6am and 10pm

This is dangerous. You have to be nuts to drive on Black Friday. The highways are loaded with sleep deprived people running from store to store for useless stuff with a Starbucks Vente Mocha Cappuccino buzz that is half faded. While they are driving they are not paying attention to the road and just figuring out what store they are going to next for more useless stuff that they could get cheaper on Amazon. com

The one place I WILL be on Black Friday?


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