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To Marry or Not to Marry

Hello there young man. So you come to ask me if you should get married.  It just so happens I have your answer. But we have to look at this in a completely different way. Let’s start with this, what is your favorite soft drink?  Diet Pepsi? OK then, lets think this out.

So you love Diet Pepsi, lets say they love you too.  Diet Pepsi comes to you and they say lets sign a contract.  We will give you free Diet Pepsi for the rest of your life. Just because we love you.  Would you sign?  Well so far, of course you would.

You should also know that because we have made you this offer, you may not drink, or even taste any other soda for the rest of your life.  Still want to sign?  OK great! Come to think of it, we really would prefer that when your in the store walking down the soda isle that you don’t even look at the other sodas.  And please don’t let us catch you admiring any of the other labels.  Still signing? Great.  This may work out just fine.

There is something else you should be made aware of before you actually sign this contract.  If you should happen to make a mistake, or an error in judgment and actually taste a different soda, we will void this contract and take half of everything you own.  Now do you still want to sign? You do?  I love your commitment to us.

Well, I think we have a deal in the works but there is one last thing we are required to tell you before you sign.  No matter how thirsty you are, no matter how long it’s been since you have had this ice cold Diet Pepsi, if we are mad or disappointed in you for whatever reason ( reasons you probably wont even understand or even know about), if we don’t want to give you any, we don’t have to.  And you are still not allowed to look at any other sodas. Remember, if you even taste another soda, we get half of your stuff, oh and you will still pay us after that, but you will NEVER get to drink Diet Pepsi again. OK, sign right here and we can get this deal done.

If you are still ready to sign, then yes, you should get married.  I will recommend though that if at all possible, stay out of the soda isle altogether. See you at the Church.

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