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The Little Altima That Could Be Cursed

Joe Raedle, Getty Images

If you asked me a week ago if I thought an object could be cursed, I would have said , “I don’t know I really never think about that kind of thing.” If you asked me right now I’d say “Yes!” And in this case its a Nissan Altima.

I believe my Wife had bought this car new in 2006, and it didn’t take long, maybe a couple of years before it all started. Keep in mind I’m a little foggy on the dates but I do remember each indecent pretty well. There are three that stand out, each one worse than the last,  the most recent of which happened this past weekend. We will begin with the first.

It was Thanksgiving and I want to say it was 2008. We had all finished dinner and were relaxing. Outside the weather was pretty bad lots of snow and ice. While we were all safe from the elements inside the Altima was parked in the driveway, along with many other cars but they would be fine, because as I’ve come to learn if “Mayhem”  is nearby. Like that guy from the insurance company commercials, he is always around that car. As you may have guessed, after we heard a loud crash we went outside to find that a tree limb, which actually was thick enough to be a tree trunk, had fallen through the back window of the car, damaging the trunk as well on it’s way through. In retrospect, maybe we should have traded the car in then.

Andrea McMaster

After the long and fun process of insurance claims and repairs everything was back to normal, but not for long. It was about a year later when we got that really bad hail storm, you may remember it causing lots of damage to peoples houses and property. Well, while my car was fine, I think it was at work at the time, the little Altima and “Mayhem” rekindled their love affair to the tune of 10,000 dents covering the entire car. This time we thought maybe with all that damage they will just total the car and we can move on to something else and have better luck. Well, after like $8,000.00 in repairs the little Altima found her way home. Clearly we had to move somewhere where we have a garage to park this car in and it will be safe. We did.

Andrea McMaster

For a while that strategy worked, until my Son drove the car out of town this weekend. He got to his destination Friday night , parked the car on the side of the road and went to sleep.  He was awoken at about five in the morning to the sound of a knock on the door and lots of flashing red lights. A police officer then informed him that it appeared that a couple of persons , at least one of which had been partaking in adult beverages were racing down the street when one of them slammed into the back end of the car. As you can see by the picture I have included this was not a “fender bender”. The only good thing I could take from this latest dance with “Mayhem” was at least the car would be totaled this time for sure and we can put the little Altima out of her misery and move on.

Nope.

Yesterday the gentleman from the repair shop said, “Actually, the damage looks pretty localized, I’m pretty confident we can repair it.” What?  NO!  I don’t understand what it is going to take but this little car will not give up. The only thing I can say for sure is ( and I’m sure the insurance company would agree), I bet this is the most expensive Nissan Altima ever sold. So, you wonder, why tell us all this? I will tell you why, because I just have one question for you, my wonderful readers, does anyone want to buy a car?

It’s ok, I don’t think I would buy it either.

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