First and foremost; shout out to the moms (especially Mama Codes) who we love very very much. This isn't about you, per se. This is about the marketing and imagery that makes us feel the need to outdo one another when it comes to honoring and celebrating the woman who gave us life. Here are The 6 Commandments Of Mother's Day because more and more, Mother's Day is becoming very - you know - Hallmark.

6. Anything over $3 and you've overpaid for the card.  She's either gonna toss it in the trash in 2 weeks, or store it in the attic aka 'Hallmark Hall Of Fame' never to be seen or heard from again.

5. No need to spend a ton on flowers.  A simple tulip or rose (or 2) is much prettier and sentimental than an obnoxious pile of flowers.  And less maintenance too.

4. Breakfast in bed is overrated.  Who wants to eat right where you just slept, drooled and farted for 8 hours? As a rule, I don't sleep in my kitchen or eat in my bed. I may snack in my bed, but that's different and - why I'm perhaps - a little chubby.  Take her to a reasonably priced brunch instead and keep the crumbs and bacon grease out of the bed!

3. While my sis, aunt, cousins, neighbors, colleagues, and every other woman under the sun is probably a fantastic mom, keep it simple when buying gifts.  In most cases, it's a pretty easy guideline. Your mom/step-mom should get a little something and so should your kid's mom.  We'll throw in grandma too, she's old and wise and deserves a little pop here.  Everyone else gets a text.

2. Mother's Day and pets do NOT mix!  How about you really do the homework and send a card and some milk bones to your dog's biological mom in Arkansas as well.  C'mon!

1. Here's the greatest Mother's Day secret of em all.  What mom really wants and what will mean the absolute most to her is Time.  Either some time alone so that she can decompress and relax, or some time alone with you.  No cell phones, no crying kids, no expensive fanfare, just.....time.

Hope you can make some for the amazing woman she is.

Happy Mother's Day