I'm not a violent person by any means. If fact, I've never even gotten into a fistfight.  But I do like to punch things. Lately, however, I'm less Canelo Alvarez and more George Foreman. Sadly, I haven't been to my boxing gym in well over a month. My brain can feel it, my body can feel it, my heart and soul can feel it. I don't feel anywhere's near "myself".  Things need to change.

Boxing fitness has always been some sort of therapy for me and that's why I'm at my best mentally and physically when I'm in a boxing gym hammering away at the heavy bag and hitting mitt combinations with my trainer like I'm getting ready for a title fight.  I like loud aggressive rap music playing, the sounds of pop pop BOOM exploding from the mitts. I anticipate the sound of the bell signifying the end of the round so I can catch my breath for a few seconds before doing it all over again. I want to be told what to do, I want a trainer who takes control and will not allow me to quit even when I'm beyond exhausted.  Sometimes I can envision a negative thought or person literally inside that heavy bag and I punch it like I have a corner man screaming at me to finish my opponent, "Knock him the F**K out Brian!"

I get chills thinking about it.

So why haven't I been to my boxing gym, my therapy in months? I don't know.  Life, I guess.  I use my workout days to catch up on alone time, work, sleep, and time with my son and family and girlfriend.  These, however, are merely excuses. We're talking about 3-4 hours a week.  A WEEK!

If you love something bad enough, you find time to do it as opposed to making excuses for not doing it.  I know this and yet another day goes by where I'm not feeding my heart, body, and brain with the necessary tools it's needed and craves.  I say I'll get back on track tomorrow, or Sunday, and for a while now, I haven't.  I feel like I'm letting myself down, my son, and my boxing friends who I train with at the gym.

Things will change and once get the ball rolling I'll be back to doing what I love while staying relatively fit. Pop pop BOOM.  The rap music better be extra loud.