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Obvious News Headlines

Don’t count newspapers out yet, folks.  I’m convinced that people still read them.  And what draws people?  Clever headlines, of course.  And it takes a special talent to write good, attention grabbing headlines, right? Well, I have the ones that didn’t make it!

Jay Leno Honored As Harvard University's Hasty Pudding Club's 2011 Man Of The Year
Darren McCollester, Getty Images

Yes, Jay Leno has made a career of it.  Now see, I almost did it myself.  I almost said “Jay Leno, host of the Tonite Show”.  Why would I even have to add that little obvious nuggett of information?  Isn’t that a total insult to your intelligence?   If I said “Barack Obama”, do I have to say “President of the United States” too?  Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It’s a big pet peeve of mine-being too obvious in the media, as if we’ve all had lobotomies or live under a large rock and are total idiots.

Which brings me to a new crop of the most “Painfully Obvious Newspaper Articles Ever”, according to a site called 11

Here’s a sample:

1. “Use Clothing To Keep Warm During Winter! “ (Damn, I should have thought of that! Thank God for all of you that I work in radio.  I did the show nude just this morning!)

2. “Death Is Nation’s Top Killer!” (And I thought it was the gas fumes produced from the egg sandwiches that my colleages eat in the windowless WGNA studio!  (If they say “pull my finger” one more time…..)

3. (My FAVORITE!!)– “Report on Report Sees Too Many Reports” (I’ve checked into this and reportedly it is true according to latest reports)

If you have found any of these, send them in.  We all need a good laugh these days.  And I have found that if you want to laff alot, don’t read depressing things.  OB-VI-OUS!!!!!!!!

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