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My First Kiss

I was reading today about a woman that wrote a book about kissing.  “The science of kissing: what our lips are telling us” by Sheril Kirshenbaum.  OF course, my first thought was “I should have so written a book about kissing.”  But she does bring up a really interesting fact in her book.  Most people can remember up to 90% of the details about their first kiss. She says that when you kiss, its so anticipated and brings up such new and complex feelings that your brain is at its absolute sharpest.  She said you can usually remember when it happened, where, with whom, and how you felt.

So naturally I had to try to remember my first kiss.  And I should probably qualify what I think a first kiss is. It can’t be something you did during a game of spin the bottle, and not one you did during a wild game of truth or dare.  The first kiss is the one you thought about for a long time before getting the nerve to do it.  The first kiss you were alone with the “Kissee” .  The first kiss, mattered.

Now as you may or may not know, I am getting a little long in the tooth as they say.  I think many of you would have an easier time conjuring up the memory than I can.  My first kiss was almost 35 years ago.  Now 35  years is a long , long time.  SO,  clearly this woman is off her rocker thinking I will remember something that probably lasted all of 10 seconds.

I was in fourth grade.  The girl in question lived around the corner and down the street from me.  She was very pretty and had beautiful dark hair.  Sometimes we would wind up walking home together.  I do remember liking her and thinking there was no way it could be mutual.  Now how it got to this point, I don’t know but one day there we were, sitting on a fallen tree in her yard.  I don’t know where everyone else was, I don’t think anyone else even existed at that point in time.  I would be willing to bet the earth froze for a while, because from the time I realized we were going to kiss to the actual lips touching, I could have lived a lifetime.  I can almost feel the lump in my throat coming back, and I can remember how very sweaty my palms were. I was nervous. In fact the one thing I cant remember is how it ever got to that point because, to be honest, I had no self esteem at the time and don’t think I had the guts to make the first move.

But somehow after what seemed like an eternity sitting on that tree, the leaning in began.  You know how they say if your in a car accident it all goes in slow motion? This was like that.  I do remember all the wondering, all the questions that race through your mind when you start that first lean in.  What if she doesn’t want to kiss me?  What if I mess it up?  What if she laughs at me and tells the whole school?  what will her lips feel like?  Do I put my arm around her?  And I think like a million more.

She had soft lips.  I loved the feeling. Even the feeling in my stomach that I wasn’t sure was butterflies or the worst case of the flu ever.  (Glad I didn’t eat just before the kiss, this could be a whole different kind of story.)  And I cant be sure, But I really believe that at that moment , when our lips were touching and my mind was reeling,  I swear i thought “I’m going to remember this always.”

I have no idea how long the kiss lasted. I can tell you it was both the longest and shortest kiss of my life.  I can tell you however , how it ended.  It ended with the stern voice of her Mother calling her inside the house.  Ouch.  I think the woman was watching the whole darn thing from the kitchen window! I don’t know, but it felt that way, so embarrassing!  Parents don’t understand this kind of thing!  After all they are so old they probably don’t even remember their first kiss.  Or do they?

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