15 Things Guys Can Buy With The Mega Millions Jackpot

The multi-state Mega Millions lottery is giving away a record jackpot of at least $540 million on Friday night to anyone whose six numbers match the six balls that come up during the Mega Millions jackpot drawing. You can get more than a half-billion dollars just for having the right balls go your way (who knew you had so much in common with NBA groupies?).

Truth: you probably will not win the $540 million Mega Millions jackpot on Friday.  Your odds of winning are one in 176 million, meaning you’re more likely to be struck by lightning, experience an asteroid hitting the Earth or find true love through online dating.  Sigh… But someone will eventually win the Mega Millions jackpot; why not you?

If you do win, here are 15 things that guys can buy with the $540 million Mega Millions jackpot*:

239 Bugatti Veyrons

At $2,250,880, the super sleek Bugatti Veyron is among the most expensive cars in the world. Your $540 million will allow you to drive a new car every day from April 1 through November 25 without ever using the same vehicle twice.

29,429 Cases of Yuengling Lager

At $16.99 per case, Yuengling Lager, the pride-filled product of Pottsville, Pa. is a bargain buzz-maker. With your Mega Millions jackpot winnings, you could buy 762,801,648 bottles of beer. Now if you just saved enough money to buy a wall to put them on…

OMGPOP and Mashable

OMGPOP is a multi-player game company best known for making ‘Draw Something,’ the hyper-addictive mobile Pictionary-style game. OMGPOP was recently purchased for $180 million by Zynga, who would probably want some return on investment (we hope they’d take $280 million; $100 million for a week of babysitting is a pretty good deal).    Additionally, social media and web news blog Mashable is reportedly in talks to sell to CNN. Let’s win the bidding war with the remaining $260 million of your jackpot. Boom: two hot digital properties are all yours. Just rock a cardigan, some skinny jeans and dress sneakers, and you’re a media mogul.

All of the T-206 Honus Wagner Cards in Existence and More

The T-206 Honus Wagner is the most famous and expensive baseball card in history. Only 60 of the 1909 card are known to be in existence, with the best one fetching $2.7 million in a 2010 auction.  Another T-206 Wagner is on the auction block now through April 19 and may bring more than $1 million. Even if you paid $5 million for the nicest Wagner and $2 million for the other 59, you’d still have them all for $123 million, leaving you with $377 million, or enough to buy 8,348,348 complete sets of 2012 Topps baseball cards at $49.95 per set.

90 Shows From Jay-Z and Kanye West

Hip-hop royalty Jay-Z and Kanye West played a ‘sweet 16′ birthday party in Dubai this December for an even sweeter $3 million each. At that rate, you could get Jay-Z and Kanye West to play shows at your beach house every day this summer from June 1 to August 29.

Twenty-Seven Percent of the L.A. Dodgers

A group led by Magic Johnson agreed to purchase the Los Angeles Dodgers for $2 billion through a bankruptcy court auction earlier this week. Your  $540 million contribution means you own one of the bases, part of the starting rotation and at least one-fourth of the seats at Chavez Ravine.

1,542,857 Half-Hours at the Chicken Ranch Brothel

The infamous Chicken Ranch brothel in Nevada has a house minimum spend of $100. But, hey, you’re packing (well, sort of), so splurge. According to Wikipedia, the house average for a half-hour of hummers and hawing is $350.00 That means with $540 million, you can spring for 1,542,857 half-hours at the Chicken Ranch. Sure hope you’ve been working out, dude.

20,769,230 Champion Dogs from the Rangers Ballpark

The Texas Rangers announced last week that they were selling the Champion Dog at Rangers Ballpark this season. Each one-pound, two-foot hot dog costs $26 and is intended to feed several people (or Louie Anderson).  With your $540 million in winnings, you could buy a Champion Dog for the entire population of the New York City metropolitan area, including Long Island and the New York-New Jersey suburbs (18,897,109 people) and have enough left over for Louie (for a few months, anyway).

All of the Ad Spots for the Next Two Super Bowls

NBC sold out all 70 of the ad spots for this year’s Super Bowl at an average of $3.5 million per 30-second ad. At that rate, you could buy all 140 ads (plus 14 more) for the 2013 and 2014 Super Bowls. We’ll assume inflation may chip into your buying power a bit and call it even: $540 million for 140 ads. Sure hope you have something to advertise.

10 Gulfstream G550 jets

With $540 million, you could buy 10 Gulfstream G550 jets at a cost of $50 million each, plus keep $40 million to pay for fuel and, perhaps, a pilot. That’s more than one jet for each continent and the ice cap over the North Pole. Happy travels!

More Than Two Billion Condoms

At a rate of $22.25 per 100 LifeStyles condoms, your Mega Millions jackpot will buy you 2,426,966,292 condoms. That’s enough to hand out one condom a day for a whole week to every person in the United States. Because, really, what fun is winning if you can’t share your joy with everyone?

13,500 Dallas Mavericks’ NBA Championship Rings

Each 2011 championship ring worn by the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks cost $40,000.00. That’s how Mavs owner Mark Cuban rolls. Now that you (almost) have Cuban-type money, you can buy a ring for 13,500 strangers who aren’t named LeBron.

116,129,032 Pounds of Bacon

At $4.65 a pound, bacon sure is getting expensive. But with $540 million, who cares? You could buy enough bacon to build life-size replicas of the Statue of Liberty (450K lbs.), Washington Monument (80 M lbs.), the Eiffel Tower (20.2 M lbs.) and Stonehenge (2.4 M lbs. Note: Mmmm – Baconhenge.). And, you’d still be able to give a pound of bacon to every person in Los Angeles (3.8 M).

[Weights via Wikipedia]

540 PT Boats For a Real-Life Games of ‘Battleship’

At $1 million per vessel,  540 genuine PT-728 boats from Hammacher Schlemmer (where else?) could be yours. Split them up with a friend and every now and again, head to the beach for a weekend of the real-life version of your favorite childhood game. Don’t tell us that you haven’t thought of doing exactly this.

A Room at the World’s Most Expensive Hotel…for 22 Years

If you can’t tap into getting pampered with $540 million, you may just want to tear that winning ticket in half. The Royal Penthouse Suite at the Hotel President Wilson in Geneva, Switzerland costs $65,000 per night. Your cash will allow you to stay for 8,307 days, which is more than 22 years.

* We know that the winner won’t actually get $540 million, even if the jackpot swells above that amount (which it will).

Note: Updated to reflect the increase of the jackpot from $500 million to $540 million.