How Do You Handle A 12 Year Old (Step) Daughter? – Daily Dilemma
Here is Today's Daily Dilemma:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for little over a year. I met his daughter this past June, so my relationship with her is fairly new. His daughter is 12 and I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is two. The girls get along great but his daughter is only with us on the weekends. However, I find it very difficult to relate to her. First and foremost, I've never been a "mom" figure to a 12 year old before. I remember what's it's like to be a 12 year old kid, but I have to be honest when I say I wasn't quite like her. She's into much different things than I was. I try to find SOMETHING that her and I have in common, but we are very, very different people. As with any 12 year old child, she has to be reminded to pick up after herself and to put things away. The part I don't understand is having to ensure that she showered and brushed her teeth. I just don't understand that and I wasn't like that at her age. She tends to lie about do basic hygiene and when I catch her in a lie, I tell her father so he can address it. Her father has assured me that I can address her on things, but when I do, she thinks I'm picking on her and that I'm being a "bully" even though I'm nice about it. I feel weird telling her to do some things and I feel like when I tell my boyfriend about something, he gets defensive and upset. He even made the comment to me recently that he feels that I don't like her and he offered to go somewhere else with her on the weekends, which of course, I don't want. Am I being too strict and expecting too much? Should I really be addressing things with her since my boyfriend is okay with it? How do her and I find a common ground to start from? HELP!
The "Daily Dilemma" on the Sean and Richie Show is featured every weekday morning at 6:40am. We and the listeners take on someone's problems and try to offer different perspectives. Now, these don't have to be huge problems- it could just be something bothering you or a friend, or it could be some little thing you and another just can't agree on. If you have a dilemma to share we'd love to hear it just e-mail us here at the show.