House Centipede That Almost Killed Me
I seriously can't think of a more horrifying thing in the insect universe than the house centipede. They move quick, they have a million legs, they're furry yet slimy, probably make disgusting noises and they literally appear out of nowhere. And that's how I almost died late last Friday night!
It was around 1:30 in the morning and I was finished up using the bathroom when I saw something slithering on the light switch. It was (insert Samuel L Jackson voice) a mutha bleepin' centipede on my mutha bleepin' light switch. I almost had a heart attack and died right there on the spot. Not exactly the way I envisioned going out.
I was forced to think quickly and I did what anybody would do when they're facing a life and death situation with one of these vial creatures; kill or be killed. But how? I didn't wanna use the "smash method" of grabbing a paper towel and squishing it underneath and I sure as heck wasn't gonna stomp it out with my bare feet.
That's when I grabbed a tube of Gorilla Glue (that I previously used to fix some plumbing in my bathroom) and I drizzled a dab or two on it's revolting head. He struggled a bit, but he couldn't escape the grip of the Gorilla. When he finally "kicked" I washed him down the drain and the nightmare was over.
Wanna label me as some kind of centipede slaughtering sociopath? Think again! How many of you have used Windex to kill an ant, or swung at a fly for 20 minutes with a rolled up magazine, or perhaps you used hair spray to attack a roach?
Me, I let the Gorilla do my dirty work.