This is your friendly warning from your friendly morning personality.   The studies are in, and ladies--on your worst day, you ain't nearly as bad as this!

According to msnbc.com :

After testing for germs on four common surfaces — TV remotes, coffee tables, nightstands and doorknobs — scientists learned that bachelor pads contain 15 times the amount of bacteria than do the homes of bachelorettes.

And what is the origin of some of the bacteria?  It's now GROSS OUT time.  I don't know how to tell you this--so I'll let the article do the talking:

Seven of every 10 coffee tables checked at the guys’ places harbored coliforms — a variety of bacteria abundant in the feces of warm-blooded animals. Yes, feces. To help put this filthy finding in true laboratory lingo,

                                                 IT'S POOP!!

I've probably ruined dating in the Capital Region forever.  This was wrong on many, many levels, and I apologize.    This brings the concept of "protection" to an entirely new level.

So girls, we're not asking alot here.  But if invited over, all we ask is that you have the following supplies:

Hand Sanitizer (50 gallon drum preferable)

Clorox  (see above)

Rubber Gloves 

3 members of the local Hazmat team

Bottle of Wine

Cheese (that can't go bad--it's bad to begin with--it's cheese!!!)

Hey, I'm working for you here!--- Wow--glad I'm married!!!