I know, right!  How could you not click on that title!  Scientist have done a long term study and have figured out the perfect equation for an amazing shuffle in the sheets!

But, never fear, it doesn't actually involve doing math!  Thank goodness!

There are separate recipes for men and women.

The formula for perfect sex for women is:

Wine + the bedroom + foreplay + adult toys + a long-term partner - anything stressful going on = great sex

The formula for perfect sex for men is:

Watching porn + the bedroom + two sexual positions + lube + a long-term partner - too much alcohol (since it can hurt his performance) = great sex

The other things that you should subtract from the evening for perfect sex are -

other people nearby, interruptions from the kids, and hot weather.

I don't know about you, but it seems like we're all in for some mediocre sex.

Wine (Getty)